Tuesday 21 February 2017

Descriptive Writing

WALT: describe
Remember to:
Use your senses
  • What can you see?
  • What can you hear?
  • What can you smell?
  • What do you feel?
Show, don't tell the reader so they can see the picture in their head.

Writing 1.jpg


I was standing outside a broken down temple, I could hear a stone falling to the ground and I then heard a CRUNCH! I felt a whoosh of wind and it bristled my hair. I looked to the left and saw some crushed bones hidden behind the rocks and all of a sudden a skull fell to the ground. Wait a sec, there was an small, ancient gold carpet snake coming out the mouth of the skull. Awesome. I looked at the door and all I saw was a darkness like I had never seen before. Big branches were covering the door and it felt like something creepy was in there. I thought I saw a giant shadow move in the doorway then I felt the ground rumble. I could smell monkeys, they stunk. Suddenly, I felt loads of tiny legs climb up my legs and I knew it was a tarantula. I flicked it off, it felt quite soft.  A giant chimpanzee hand grabbed me and it felt like I was in a machine which was squishing me. It felt horrible and smelt like pee!  As soon as the hand let go I knew it was time to sprint through the door and start the ghost hunting.

By Luka

6 comments:

  1. Kia ora Luka,
    Thanks for sharing your descriptive writing on your class blog. I like this description - I felt a whoosh of wind and it bristled my hair - I can imagine what that would feel like as I read it. It would be a bit creepy feeling loads of tiny legs crawling up your legs! That description made me shudder! Keep up the great work writing.
    Tania

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  2. that looks so fun and i wish we had one at my school it would be so fun to have from Ryah

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  3. I like that you said that you looked to the left and you saw crunched bones. Then you felt some wind and it made your hair bristled. From Reuben

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  4. i think this is AWESOME!!!

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  5. that was great you used some describing words and simaliys by charlie

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  6. Nice writing luka.

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